Stop

I am so blessed to have sisters in Christ who will stop what they are doing to ask me if I've worked on my blog recently.  As you can see, it's been about 2 months since my last posting.  I got smacked in the head with a big STOP sign.  (Not literally)  After my last post about "being still" and thinking I have God's plans for me all figured out, I got sick.  I was having excruciating pains in my side with a 103 fever.  After going to the hospital, I was diagnosed with colitis.  My doctor had all kinds of tests run and with that my thyroid was checked again.  This time the numbers were extremely high.  I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease.  So now I'm back and forth to different doctors trying to figure out what is going on with me.  My energy level had dropped completely and all my "to do" list became a "put on the back burner list".  I try to get back into the swing of things, especially exercise and I'm wiped out as soon as I start.  So let me start from the beginning of our "to do" list.

In late February, my husband and I started a HUGE project in the backyard with a new garden.  We decided to plant this garden because our plans to buy the house came to a huge stop because we had to fix our student loans.  We both felt that establishing this garden would be a a great way to as Mike puts it, show our obedience to the Lord that we can be good stewards to what the Lord has blessed us with (even if we didn't own it).  It took us a few weeks to get the 5 bushes that were there up out of the ground plus rip out 8 huge overgrown shrubs and then rearrange the stone path that curved to the driveway.  This required moving already existing 4 x 4's and stones that have been there for years.  I now  understood why my husband was so hesitant about doing it.  My stubborn self wanted it to be straight.  It took weeks to get the old stone path pulled up.  It almost laid in the ground like concrete.  I even mistakenly tried to use it as a "you reap what you sow" lesson out of it to my daughter.  She made a huge mistake and though she was forgiven, things will never be the same in this situation.   So I said that even when Jesus changes our path, our past is still there to there to remind us of what Jesus has done for us. I used this path as an example.  That didn't sit well with me at all.  I could feel that conviction that I was not right saying that.  I talked to my daughter the next day about how I was wrong to say that.  Jesus will make our paths straight and through God's mercy our past is wiped clean.  After feeling better about this I went outside to work on this "concrete" path that wouldn't come up.  I was amazed that when I put the shovel in it, it went right through.  It was like clay.  I had that path up in a half an hour!  My husband was even amazed that after days of trying and thinking we were stuck with it, it was gone!  

Now it was time to pull out all the roots on both sides of the walkway.  There was not one simple thing about this task.  Here we were every weekend all through March, pulling out huge roots from the monster bushes that were there.  At the end of March we built the fencing around the garden.  April comes, Mike builds a raised garden out of an old picnic table and then the following week he surprised me while I was out and built me a gorgeous potting bench.

Then comes May, our plan was to start planting all the vegetables (some were potted in the house) into the ground.  That's when I started to get sick.  I was exhausted and my stomach wasn't getting any better.  My poor husband was now left with all this work to do on his own.  Mid June, I finally went to the endocrinologist and was put on medication for my hypothyroidism. The doctor did say that my thyroid could be causing the colitis too.  So now I'm waiting for Mid July to go to that doctor again.

Then our plans to send the kids to private school came to a big stop.  We were only granted a small financial aid grant.  We were grateful to receive it but it just wasn't financially enough for us to do it.  So here we are, getting banged in the head with that stop sign again.  I really took this to heart, not because we weren't given the blessing but because I thought I really heard God tell us to do this.  I think I had my first temper tantrum with the Lord.  This wasn't a cry that it wasn't fair or you don't care about me kind of cry, it was more upsetting because after a large amount of prayer and trust we finally said yes to Him about this and we really thought that this was His direction.  Mike, the leader of our family, really helped me about understanding that maybe we did hear Him but it's not for now or maybe never.  Maybe the Lord wants us to buy this house first, then that would clear a way to financially afford private school.  Maybe He just wanted us to trust Him with whatever He gives us. So, that's what we are doing.  Here is where my prayers were answered.  I asked God to give me peace about this.  I woke up the next day feeling that it's okay, the kids will be okay wherever they go.  Nothing has changed, we still read the Bible together after dinner, pray together and teach each other about the Lord daily.  So grateful for His peace.

So here we are, almost into the second week of July and our garden is in full bloom.   The vegetables are almost ready to be picked soon.  My energy is back so I was finally able to come out and finish the landscaping around it.  It's wonderful to come outside everyday to see how God has blessed us with this garden, yes with the vegetables, but with so much more.  As a couple, we spent every weekend together working on it.  We spent valued time together planning.  We had disappointments together.  We healed together.  We learned lessons together. We trusted together.  We prayed together.  I'm blessed beyond blessed that God entrusted us with this garden.  His garden.